Ten More Days....

Ten more days till Nano is over and i only have 28,000 words. I suck at life.

Anyway, my mom's surgery is tomorrow morning. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers please.

Weeks go by...

let's not talk about NaNo. It depresses me.

My mom's surgery is in a week. I hope and pray that this time it works. Keep her in your thoughts, ecspecially next Monday.

My Favorite Excerpts Thus Far:

"In the silence of the night I am free to be who I want. No one can see me, hear me breathe. Out here, in the black, I am simply myself, breathing in the air and wondering what else is out there. What's beyond the borders of all this? What's beyond the farthest point I can see? What is hiding in the black, waiting for me to stumble across it?" My eyes watched his shadow as he walked towards me. I felt his hands on my face and I closed my eyes, feeling the night, feeling him.

This is why I am falling for you Rosalind. You speak words...they fall like rain from your mouth. No one is like you. And deep down it scares me." I sank into his arms, holding him tight.

It scares me too.

“I will help make you remember who you are.” She sat in silence for a long time, her face dry and turned towards the mountains. I sat beside her and wrapped my jacket over her shoulders, hoping it was enough to block the cold from the wind as it roared past us. Long strands of hair were waving behind her and she closed her eyes, breathing deeply. “Do you disappear when you do that?”

“I pretend to.” Opening her eyes, she turned to me. “I wish the wind would pick me up and take me away sometimes.”

“I do too.” I smiled and brushed a strand of hair back from her cheek.

“Then maybe you do know me.” A half smile appeared briefly as she turned back to the mountains.

We sat that way for a long time, until the orange and yellow began to appear in the east and she stopped shivering from the wind. I think she became a part of it then, and allowed the cold to sink deep into her bones, freezing her into a statue. I watched her for a long time, seeing her face solid, but her eyes go away. Far away to a place I couldn’t see, but I knew was there, because she could see it in her mind.

She disappeared into the night and I wandered over to my loom. I let the candle lantern on the small table near it and began. I was using blues, greens, and whites to make myself a blanket for the winter. I lost myself in it, creating something and becoming a part of it. I captured the essence of the mountains in the long lines I created with the green and the criss-crossing strands of light and dark blue. The candlelight flickered against the rough logs of the wall, bouncing in every direction and making the colors jump and dance across the threads I wove. I heard Rebekah come in, but said nothing as I continued to weave the blue and green together, making them mold together to form something meaningful

It wasn’t until the candle burned low so I couldn’t see the colors apart from another and the fire turned to ember that I stopped. Rebekah was sleeping, her breathing even and deep, lulling me to climb into my own bed on the straw mattress. I wrapped myself up in my own blanket and snuggled deep into its warmth, wishing for sleep to come to me. I lay there a long time, watching the stars climb through the speckled glass pane of the window and listening to the wind howling past us.

My sister has always intrigued me. I knew when I was very young that she was somehow different than the rest of us. She would wander aimlessly for hours as a teenager. I would follow her sometimes, making sure she didn’t know I was there. There was a place she liked to go, before they died. It was deep in the Northern Forest, hidden by the thick trunks and branches lying across the forest floor. She would sit for many hours, her eyes closed, just breathing in her quiet way. I knew she wasn’t asleep, she simply liked to sit and think, pondering her life, or whatever it was she deemed important enough to escape from town for hours.

They knew she would be a weaver from the start. Father told me that mother had brought home a loom from the building and taught Rosalind to weave when she was five. Since then, it was given that would be the place she would fit. When the female council placed her there when she was finished with school, no one was surprised. Her weaving skills are legendary and every home has at least one piece done by her. She’s different in that way too. Rather than sticking to the normal patterns, she sits and sees things on the loom, then creates them out of the woolen yarn she is given. I like to watch her sometimes, as she takes the colored string and paints a picture in her own way. I think people are jealous of her, and also a little scared. Rosalind is different.

When Father died, and Grandmother and Grandfather too, she stopped going to the forest. She stopped weaving for a long time, until she realized that without her blankets and clothes, we would all freeze. She would then weave long into the winter nights, burning candles as she went and whispering to herself. She took good care of me, as I was a lot younger then. She cooked and cleaned and volunteered to work hard in town, to keep herself busy. I think she did it to forget the pain of losing everyone around her, except for me.

I know now why she continues to push herself so hard. She wants to be a mother to me, which she is in many cases. But she is my sister, and I love her for what she does for me. But still, people talk. I can hear them whispering when I walk through town. Sometimes people don’t realize I’m related to her. We look little alike, with her mossy brown hair, and my blonde hair. We have the same eyes though, the dark blue that Angeline says reminds her of the sky on a crystal clear day. She is thin and frail, whereas I round out in all the right places. Maybe because of our physical differences people don’t realize who I am until its too late. But I always hear.

motivate me

Someone give me a good kick in the butt and motivate me, please.

"Screw you guys, I'm going home."

Nothing like South Park to make me want to write. :)

Needless to say, I haven't written anything, since I stayed up until 6:30 in the morning last week writing and got up to my almost 12,000 words, which look pitiful now. People have already written their 50,000 words on the site. A user by the name of "God" has written 200,000 or so he claims.

Anyway, I looked over my schedule for the month of November. It was enough to make me cry. Almost. I am a busy girl. So, I decided to make some new goals, based off how my first three chapters turned out, and my school schedule.

My 50,000 word goal is hopefully going to be reached by November 18th. That is in 12 days, including today. Very doable. That gives me...12 days to gain another 20,000 and hit my overall goal os 70,000. Not so doable.

The week after we get back from Thanksgiving, i have three papers due, one on Tuesday, one on Wednesday, and one on Thursday. They are 8, 10, and 12 pages respectively. Hmmm. Along with the fact that my mom is getting her back surgery Thanksgiving week and I will be home, I hope to just simply write those three papers. So come november 30, for sure i will have the 50,000 to win, I just might not reach my personal goal.

There was also the goal of finishing the novel. At the rate the story is progressing, I doubt it. I'm guessing that overall its going to need 150,000-200,000 words to complete. I don't have that time. But it will be likely I'll finish it over Christmas break. And I will, because I'm going to make myself.

*sigh* So that's the update. And off i go to read a book I need to write a paper on for tomorrow. :)

-allie-

Day One:

i originally thought I wouldn't have time to write anything for the novel today. But, i got some major motivation last night and wrote my english paper that I was stressing over. The upside to that was I got to send it to him and he wrote me comments! yay! Overall, it was a good paper, or so he said, and I only need to change a few things. woo-hoo to that!

So vicky came down at 5ish and we went down to dinner. I got some major inspiration and unfortunately, she's just getting some...maybe... So, she's sitting on my futon clicking away as I write this. One chapter done tonight, and I am way excited.

The beginning will need work, but I am happy where its going. And of course, as I keep telling Vicky, this is simply a draft. Many edits and rewrites will come soon. I sometimes have to resist the urge to go back and change something. So i don't.

Anyways, the grand total for about 2 or so hours of writing was 4,615 words. It's about 8 page single spaced. Woo-hoo to me!

I'm not going to post chapters, but I will post snippets. this is from Rosalind's point of view:

I excused myself and walk to the edge of the crowd. The dark man had disappeared again. People were celebrating, and people were also drained in sadness over Richard’s death. As I watched, I felt the wind stir and rustle through my skirts. I held them tight and wound another hand into my hair. It was long and tangled, but I liked to feel it flow in the air and lift in freedom from my scalp. I closed my eyes again and breathed in deeply. The icy smell was harsher and tingled deep down into my throat.

“Keep your eyes closed.” His voice came from behind me, from within the darkness.

“Who are you?” My own voice sounded scared.

“You’ll find out sometime. Why do you sound afraid?” His voice gentled and I felt a hand rest on my hip. It wasn’t the awkward touch I felt from Cain, or harsh. It fit there.

“I don’t know who you are. I don’t talk to strange men.”

“I promise I’m not strange. Tell me what you smell.” I kept my eyes close tightly and inhaled deeply. I could smell him, the smell of a man who worked hard and struggled. Over his scent, I could smell the icy air, and the smell of the town.

“I smell our lives.” Again, I blushed, embarrassed by my own feelings. No one spoke this way, except for me. It always made me awkward and unsure.

“Don’t blush for speaking your feelings. You are who you are.” His mouth was against my ear and his breath brushed it gently. I shivered slightly and breathed slowly, calming my heartbeat. Who was this man….

I opened my eyes and turned around. He was gone again, but I smiled. There was someone who understood me, and didn’t laugh at my emotion. I knew no one like that.

Here We Go!

NaNo started at midnight. And unfortunately, I'm not going to be writing until Wednesday night at the earliest. Drat.

I put a counter in my profile. And I am raring to go. Okay...I've been ready for this since August. Now that November is finally here, let's hope I can do it. Cheer for me. Lots. Vicky too.

Oh, i am also shooting for 70,000 words as a personal goal this year. let's see if I can make it. And i want to finish the thing.

Look here for snippets in the future. :)

I am so ready for this.

-allie-